Introducing SHTNACLAUSE: Helium based Sleigh Inventory Tracker
When it comes to tracking Santa Claus's whereabouts, there is no better system than NORAD's Santa Claus tracker. Using live GPS data, NORAD can show you exactly where Santa Claus is at any given moment.
But what happens when somewhere just outside of Moline, Illinois, Santa realizes due to a loading error, he has only seven Red Ryder carbine action 200-shot range model air rifles left, and he has orders for thirty-five? His cell signal isn't working and trying to guess Timmy's parents' Wi-Fi password isn't going well either. He has no way to communicate. Looks like some kids won't be getting their toys this year...
That won't be a problem next year with the launch of Rokland's SHNTACLAUS™, a Helium-based sleigh inventory management and HNT miner system, designed to keep Santa's inventory and storage in perfect shape.
Using the global Helium network, Santa's sleigh and computers can communicate directly with Santa's (cold) storage in the North Pole, relaying errors and shortages, so elf planes can be deployed with additional inventory when needed. Using special weight censors, the system can also tell if Santa leaves his sleigh with too many or too few toys at a given location and immediately alert him, saving valuable nanoseconds.
SHNTACLAUS™ hardware includes a fully functional HNT miner, allowing Santa to make bank and recover the cost of his hardware deployment quickly. Santa's been living off cookie crumbs for far too long. With access to every home worldwide, it won't be long before Santa is the top HNT earner in the world, thanks to his SHNTACLAUS™ system.
How can you get one? Unfortunately you can't, as a sleigh inventory management system won't do you much good, so we are only making them for Santa. But Santa can place a preorder now, with systems expected to ship in Q3 2022. We know Santa's been checking if we've been naughty or nice, so there's a very good chance we meet the launch target.
Though you can't get one yourself, the world will benefit from a faster and more efficient sleigh inventory management system. More toys under the tree, and for Santa- more HNT. It's win-win.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to our Helium friends and family!